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| KU DB JaCorey Shepherd. Source: KU Sports |
I try my best to censor what I say, but I hope all the words I have written about KU Football, even in these dark days, gives me a little more credibility to be critical. Over the past three seasons, I have meticulously covered this team, and although I've seen significant systemic progress under Charlie Weis, it has become harder and harder to write positively about the Hawks as they continue losing football games in almost every way possible. I'm approaching the limit on silver linings and moral victories.
I never rant on individual players or coaches for
fun; I do it because I care (probably too much), and I want our guys to do well because they deserve it.
And yes, we all expect better than 2 win seasons and 0-fers in conference play.
I know I am not alone
when I say that. I want to win, and so do you. It’s in our nature, as Jayhawks,
to expect excellence in everything that we do. The football team is no
exception to that rule. Historically speaking, this is a moderately successful football program.
But in the past five
years, the football team hasn’t met the bill, to say the least, and it’s been pretty
taxing on a fan-base that is so used to things coming easily. Since I arrived
on campus two years ago, the Jayhawks have won only 4 football games-- 3 of
those came against FCS competition. So, in sum, I have seen one Division 1
victory so far as a student.
The basketball team,
on the other hand, has been to a National Championship game and won 30 straight
games every year that I’ve been on campus, so in comparison, the football team
is a few stride lengths behind to say the least.
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| KU DB Dexter Linton. Source: KU Sports |
It’s disappointing
that football can’t seem to get over the hump, especially after having a lead in every game so far this season, but a few weeks ago, I received an
email from junior Ashley Balsbaugh that really helped bring things back into
perspective.
Ashley is a normal
college student who happens to live with a few KU football players—something
she would have never guessed would have happened to her at KU, but now couldn’t
imagine her life had she not done so.
Ashley gives us an
inside look into the life of the college athlete—the unseen life of the guys
who want to win football games more than life itself, but can’t, and are often
mocked and jeered by their own fans
for failing to do so.
In this testimony, Ashley
shares her initial prejudices against the players, her experiences living with
the athletes, her changed perception, her gained respect for them and other
student-athletes, and her newfound, unabashed passion for the football team,
and this University. It is a heartwarming story of growth and friendship
between two very unlikely parties. Enjoy.
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| Ashley with Christian Matthews |
I met Christian
Matthews, a wide receiver for the Kansas Football team, in a summer class. We
sat next to each other every day for an entire month and never said a word to
each other, besides me waking him up at the end of class for us to leave.
Somehow in the last week of class, we ended up exchanging numbers and kind of
started a friendship from there.
Over the next semester
or so, we would get closer, occasionally being there to help each other out. We
were by no means on the way to being "best friends of the year" but
we were there for each other, more than I can say for some of my other friends.
In one way or another,
we both found ourselves in living situations that were not working anymore. I
needed a roommate to help towards rent, and he needed out of his apartment. It
doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where this is going… two weeks
later, Christian was my roommate.
Understand, reader, this
is the LAST thing I wanted. I knew football players back from high school that
were total douchebags and cocky pricks. I knew the stereotype for collegiate
athletes.. and I reluctantly expected to turn my house into a low-key
"brothel" of some sorts. I "knew" this. I had
"prepared" myself for this. But I was wrong. I was so, so wrong.
Shockingly so.
Here is where I make a
side note and say- I was raised better than these stereotypes, and I am ashamed
of myself for having ever had these kind of judgmental thoughts. What I didn't
expect, or didn't know perhaps, is that I would be spending a semester with one
of my soon to be best friends in the world. One of the kindest, most dedicated
and hardworking students I have ever met. That I was going to completely and
totally have my life changed, my attitude changed… and all for the better.
So my guess is, by
now, you are realizing that this was going to be more than a semester-long
stint. And somehow, I convinced safety Dexter Linton to move in too. Clearly, I
had gotten close to both the guys and JaCorey Shepherd, and adored living with them, but I honestly
didn't care about football… at all. Not even a little. I probably couldn't even
tell you what position either of them played…but then summer workouts happened.
This was a life altering
experience for me, simply because Christian didn't have a car… meaning every
single training session, I was his ride. So taking him to workouts at 8 am or 7
am was directly affecting me… and this is when I started kind of thinking, ‘Wow, there is more that goes into this than people understand.’ It really
might not be a bunch of meatheads slamming their bodies into each other and
chasing a ball like a freaking Labrador retriever.
This continued all
summer, rain or shine, heat or cold (let’s be honest: heat or scorching heat).
The guys would come home and barely be able to walk, because they were so sore
from workouts or running, yet there were no complaints. No complaints about
spending the days in classes instead of at the pool. No complaints about
missing home. No complaints about being tired. No complaints about anything.
This gained my respect to say the least.
Another turning point
for me was football camp. This was a biggie for two reasons: one) I
(probably like a lot of you) had no idea that the team had to move into
Naismith for camp, and were given strict time tables that they were to follow-
therefore ending their summer 2 weeks earlier than everyone else's. This
especially struck me as unfair, since I had no one to hang-out with after that;
and 2) because camp is HARD. I was completely shocked to see how hard the boys
were working, how much weight they were losing because they were being worked
so hard, and how many hours a day they were practicing. (I think this is when
things became real to me).
So, I resolved… I was
going to the first game. No excuses. How can I live with two football players
and not go to the game?
Once again, I was completely shocked to find out how much football I had actually learned over the summer. How many players I knew on a personal level. How protective and attached I had become to these boys. If you had told me 6 months ago that I would feel my heart break with each heartbreak these guys experienced, if you had told me that a football loss would affect me and my mood for a week, if you had told me I would have full blown panic attacks when my roommates were on that field and being tackled, or that I would literally want to punch someone in the face if I heard them talking smack on our team, I would have laughed in your face. Because I just didn't care. I didn't understand, and I was wrong.
Jayhawk football is
unbelievable. People (myself included) totally underestimate the amount of work
that goes into it. Most boys are on scholarship. Football players are some of
the few students that show up to every class, because they are required to check in. They lift weights
before any of us are awake. They run up and down the damn hill in 100 degree
heat, throw up and keep running. They practice and watch film almost every day.
They have tutoring sessions that they take to maintain their grades. Yet, I
promise you, you probably have never heard one complain about this.
I complain about
getting less than 8 hours of sleep, whereas my roommates can't even sleep eight
hours in a row anymore. The amount of work that goes unnoticed is shocking. Our
football guys are some of the best in the world (I will attest to this, several
have become very good friends), and if you can't find it in your heart to go to
a game, at least try not to talk smack on them. Jayhawk fans need to recognize
all sports, regardless of our record. Please understand, I LOVE basketball and
I love our basketball team, but I want there to be a student body present in Memorial
Stadium just like there is one in Allen Fieldhouse. Trust me when I say this:
these boys work so hard to represent us… all year long. They deserve our
support. Don't be a “me”.
Finally the last thing I expected, yet have been pleasantly surprised by is the friends that have turned into family. I love our football team, I love the guys’ parents, I love all the people in the stands, and I love our Jayhawk tradition. I am so beyond blessed to have experienced these past two semesters, and the lessons that I have learned will stick with me… for life. It is like Christian always tells me: "work, work, don't stop."
Side note: I still
have no idea what half the football terms are, or why we are always pausing the
game, but I will learn. I have no doubt of this.
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